Living Pakistan/ Feminist and shaved

The article was published September 30, 2015 in the Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera (http://27esimaora.corriere.it/articolo/depilarsi-o-no-tra-italia-e-pakistan-la-moda-piu-forte-del-femminismo/#more-72203 )

It all happened a year ago, when a man who was attending asked me to shave in the “the Brazilian way” Nothing strange,  desires and games between two consenting adults, if not for the context in which the event took place (although the conversation was in chat): Pakistan, where I live and I relate every day with a different reality from the one where I grew up. More immodestly in this context I would say the fact that I, with others, and others, have also helped changes: freedom of action, of bodies, of religion and therefore also of the report.

The request struck me greatly: all Muslims regardless of sex shave since adolescence, because it is part of the ritual ablution, necessary for praying. Periodically shave the armpits and pubic and I confess that for the first time to see a man with a white circle that starts below the navel and get to the top of the thighs a bit of impression does, sometimes even ridiculous. Anyway, shave is not just a religious precept, but also an hygienic measure according to other cultures, such as Japan, for example.

I asked politely to my partner if the request was dictated by cultural reasons and he said no, it was only a matter of taste. I left suspended the request, very doubtful and very much more curious: why I could have relations with a shaved man, not having a woman has always been fond of his adult triangle? I did a question-discriminatory: it reminded me amusingly debates and rumors of the old feminism (I honestly have never practiced), when some of us were proud of not shave arms, legs and armpits because they rebelled against the “system” that wanted us always as beautiful dolls. So I began a round of opinions between friends and Muslim friends, starting with the question: have you ever been with a shaved human being ??? Apart from yes (few) and no, no one showed a particular resistance to the pubis hairy, indeed my tweet-friend S. from Karachi proposed to inaugurate the ashtag #trimmingthebush to make it a broader issue: she was convinced that the demand meant more generally that men are eternal immature who dream erotically girls and ask that a Western woman would make it more exciting. She was however totally opposed, as well as other male friends who encouraged me to keep my “usual” appearance,  because that was my culture and no one had the right to request changes.

Already, my culture, or what I would call a general the Western one. Then over the months something has happened: in the locker rooms of the gym that I attended in Italy and now a days in Islamabad the super-majority of women of all ages (in the latter case, foreign) was completely shaved, with added style: triangles and strips of hair left on the shaved pubis, tufts, semi-wild, tattoos. Understand the discomfort (of civilization): while I was all my ruminations and observations on the diversity of worlds and bodies, on the inhibition or less of the philosophical significance of the shaved pubis, the absence of hair had become a fashion and I do not even I was noticed. What a shame.

To put a tombstone on was my late interrogation like KGB conducted by my sister and me on my twenty year old son, who refused for obvious reasons of modesty to speak with the mother and aunt of her friends’ pubis, but that ultimately was forced to admit that yes, girls shave all their hair or trim them as a short beard, horribly called “back mouse” (rather sackcloth). And an American TV series recently seen, Jounger, where a forty woman, forced to confront unemployment decides to reduce her  age to have more chances of employment, and so changes its companies attending younger, shocked at gym for having seen a pubic “as that of their mother,” even with some shade of gray…

The dice was cast. I had to try it to myself: what technique? Second survey: the gynecologist threatened to unsubscribe from the list of patients if I dared to use depilatory creams; razor that many friends use every day in the shower: I was horrified. There remained the wax, destined to heroes and fighters. Even if you shave since you were a teenager, the experience is incomparable, as when we were speechless at cinema watching John Rambo in the Vietnamese forest sewing up the arm by himself. I confess, it is very bad, even if you’re in the hands of the most skilled beauticians.

The net effect? I still have to get used to. The first two days you have a pubic Pompeian red coloured, then I continue to look myself in the mirror thinking about the Madonna song “Who is that girl?”. At the same time I recognize the practicality and hygiene. If collects the most successful? For this answer you refer to the new ashtag #whoisthatgirl.